Funny Would You Rather Questions
Absurd choices, ridiculous trade-offs, and zero right answers. Pick one and try to keep a straight face.
Some questions make you think. These make you snort. This set gathers 124 funny would you rather questions, the kind where both options are ridiculous and you still have to pick one. Would you rather sneeze glitter or hiccup bubbles? Have a theme song that plays whenever you walk into a room, or a laugh track that follows your jokes? There's no deep lesson here, just good, clean silliness.
Funny questions shine in groups, because the reasoning is half the joke. Someone will always build an elaborate argument for why glitter sneezes are clearly better. Put them on a big screen with party mode, read them in your best game show voice, and let the room pick sides. It's an easy way to warm up any crowd, from a family reunion to a team happy hour.
How to play
- Read the question in the most dramatic voice you can manage.
- Everyone shouts their answer on the count of three.
- The funniest explanation wins the round.
- Tap your pick to see how the rest of the players voted.
All 124 Funny Would You Rather Questions
- Would you rather wear a clown nose for a whole school year or wear clown shoes for a whole school year?
- Would you rather turn into a pickle once a week or turn into a potato once a week?
- Would you rather have a bed that turns into a trampoline or have a bathtub that turns into a slide?
- Would you rather have your parents read your texts for a day or have your teacher read your search history out loud?
- Would you rather have your typing sounds broadcast to the whole office or have your stomach growls broadcast to the whole office?
- Would you rather have every door you open play a fanfare or have every chair you sit on squeak?
- Would you rather have your car horn sound like a kazoo or have your doorbell sound like a rooster?
- Would you rather have your Zoom background be stuck on a tropical beach or have it stuck on outer space?
- Would you rather have your kid crash every video call or have your pet crash every video call?
- Would you rather have a theme song play every time you enter a room or have a laugh track follow everything you say?
- Would you rather have a dog that meows or have a cat that barks?
- Would you rather turn everything you touch into chocolate or turn everything you touch into bubble wrap?
- Would you rather have a sister who is a robot or have a brother who is an alien?
- Would you rather be chased by a waddle of penguins or be followed by a parade of polite ducks?
- Would you rather have the office thermostat stuck at 60 or have it stuck at 80?
- Would you rather have your prom date be picked by your friends or have your prom outfit be picked by your parents?
- Would you rather have a clone who does your chores badly or have a clone who does your chores and brags about it?
- Would you rather have your yearbook quote be chosen by your parents or have your yearbook photo be taken mid-sneeze?
- Would you rather have a pet sloth who is always late or have a pet cheetah who is always early?
- Would you rather always be 10 minutes late or always be 20 minutes early?
- Would you rather have your locker be next to your crush or have your locker be next to the cafeteria?
- Would you rather have a pet dinosaur the size of a cat or have a cat the size of a dinosaur?
- Would you rather have a pet that follows you to school or have a sibling who follows you to school?
- Would you rather have a hot dog eating contest with a golden retriever or have a staring contest with an owl?
- Would you rather ride a giant turtle to school or ride a flying carpet that only goes five miles an hour?
- Would you rather have a mustache made of glitter or have eyebrows made of feathers?
- Would you rather be chased by a flock of silly geese or be chased by a herd of tickling monkeys?
- Would you rather live in a world where cats rule or live in a world where squirrels rule?
- Would you rather meet your partner's family for the first time at Thanksgiving or meet them at a family wedding?
- Would you rather be a wizard who only knows silly spells or be a superhero who only works on Tuesdays?
- Would you rather fight off a swarm of friendly bees with a pool noodle or outrun a very determined tortoise?
- Would you rather have a coworker who loves reply-all or have a coworker who never replies at all?
- Would you rather only be able to walk like a penguin or only be able to run like an ostrich?
- Would you rather build furniture together without arguing or put up holiday lights together without arguing?
- Would you rather wear socks on your hands for a week or wear mittens on your feet for a week?
- Would you rather be stuck in a tiny car on a 12-hour road trip with your siblings or be stuck on a 12-hour flight next to your teacher?
- Would you rather have tiny T. rex arms for a day or have a giraffe neck for a day?
- Would you rather have a partner who texts in all caps or have a partner who only replies with emojis?
- Would you rather lose every argument or never be allowed to argue?
- Would you rather talk like a duck every Monday or walk like a crab every Friday?
- Would you rather be the big spoon forever or be the little spoon forever?
- Would you rather have to speak in rhymes all day or have to sing everything you say?
- Would you rather be able to talk to animals or be able to understand babies?
- Would you rather have a coworker who eats fish in the microwave or have a coworker who hums all day?
- Would you rather have your camera stuck on during every call or have your mic stuck unmuted during every call?
- Would you rather be followed by a mariachi band all day or be followed by a tap-dancing chicken all day?
- Would you rather have your mom chaperone prom or have your dad drive you to every date?
- Would you rather have a bathtub full of mac and cheese or have a sink that only pours gravy?
- Would you rather always have to hop on one foot or always have to walk backwards?
- Would you rather have a standing desk that won't go down or have a chair that won't stop spinning?
- Would you rather have spaghetti for hair or have meatballs for toes?
- Would you rather share one blanket forever or share one dessert forever?
- Would you rather have ketchup on everything you eat or have maple syrup on everything you eat?
- Would you rather slow dance at every wedding you attend or lead the conga line at every wedding you attend?
- Would you rather agree on every movie or agree on every restaurant?
- Would you rather have a desk by the window or have a desk by the snack drawer?
- Would you rather dress up as a pumpkin on Halloween forever or dress up as a turkey on Thanksgiving forever?
- Would you rather only be able to whisper or only be able to shout?
- Would you rather have your boss follow you on social media or have your coworkers see your old yearbook?
- Would you rather be able to talk to squirrels or be able to talk to goldfish?
- Would you rather wear your pajamas to school every day or wear a tuxedo to school every day?
- Would you rather wear a suit of armor to the grocery store or wear a scuba suit to the grocery store?
- Would you rather have a talking backpack or have talking sneakers?
- Would you rather narrate your life like a nature documentary or narrate your life like a sports announcer?
- Would you rather eat broccoli-flavored ice cream or eat ice cream-flavored broccoli?
- Would you rather win Employee of the Month or win the office chili cook-off?
- Would you rather pick every outfit for a year based on a coin flip or let your little brother pick every outfit for a month?
- Would you rather have a hamster that can do backflips or have a goldfish that can play piano?
- Would you rather have a talking dog who tells everyone your secrets or have a silent dog who can do your chores?
- Would you rather grow a tail or grow a pair of antennae?
- Would you rather have a partner who snores or have a partner who steals the covers?
- Would you rather be a superhero with a silly name or be a supervillain with a cool name?
- Would you rather have a car that talks back or have a car that only plays polka music?
- Would you rather only eat foods that are green or only eat foods that are orange?
- Would you rather have kids who love vegetables or have kids who love going to bed?
- Would you rather find a hidden room in your house or find a buried treasure chest in your yard?
- Would you rather have a unicorn that can't fly or have a dragon that's afraid of heights?
- Would you rather have a pet llama that spits compliments or have a pet goat that yells your name?
- Would you rather have your phone autocorrect every word to "banana" or have it send every text twice?
- Would you rather have your group chat accidentally sent to your teacher or have your notes app read aloud at an assembly?
- Would you rather have your voice turn squeaky every time you lie or have your ears wiggle every time you're nervous?
- Would you rather have a video call with your cat filter stuck on or have a call where your screen share shows your shopping cart?
- Would you rather have your partner's cooking always burn or have your partner's singing always be off-key?
- Would you rather be in charge of the office fridge cleanup or be in charge of the office plant care?
- Would you rather be the office birthday card organizer forever or be the office coffee maker forever?
- Would you rather have to high-five everyone you meet or have to hug everyone you meet?
- Would you rather do a couples' costume as salt and pepper or do a couples' costume as peanut butter and jelly?
- Would you rather answer every call with a jingle or sign every email with a haiku?
- Would you rather sit next to a loud chewer or sit next to a loud phone talker?
- Would you rather know the ending of every movie or never know how any movie ends?
- Would you rather say "let's circle back" every sentence or say "per my last email" every sentence?
- Would you rather always agree on the thermostat or always agree on how to load the dishwasher?
- Would you rather spend Thanksgiving with your in-laws or spend it alone with takeout?
- Would you rather be the mascot at the Super Bowl or be the ref at a toddler soccer game?
- Would you rather spend a week job-swapping with your boss or spend a week job-swapping with the intern?
- Would you rather only communicate in movie quotes or only communicate in interpretive dance?
- Would you rather have a laugh that sounds like a honking goose or have a sneeze that sounds like a trumpet?
- Would you rather dance every time you hear a doorbell or salute every time you hear a microwave beep?
- Would you rather have fingers that are crayons or have toes that are markers?
- Would you rather have a nose that honks when pressed or have ears that whistle when it's windy?
- Would you rather have a pool filled with jello or have a ball pit filled with marshmallows?
- Would you rather have hands that can stretch across the room or have legs that can bounce like springs?
- Would you rather laugh every time someone says your name or sneeze every time you hear a bell?
- Would you rather have your thoughts appear as subtitles or have your dreams shown on a billboard?
- Would you rather assemble flat-pack furniture without instructions or paint a room without tape?
- Would you rather have every coworker call you by the wrong name or have every coworker mispronounce your name?
- Would you rather have matching pajamas every Christmas or have matching Halloween costumes every year?
- Would you rather be stuck in a room full of spiders that are friendly or be stuck in a room full of clowns who tell bad jokes?
- Would you rather have your parents join TikTok and follow you or have your parents start a podcast about you?
- Would you rather turn into your favorite animal once a day or turn into your favorite food once a day?
- Would you rather always get the last bite or always get the warm side of the bed?
- Would you rather have your crush see your baby photos or have your crush hear you sing in the shower?
- Would you rather see your partner at age 80 or see your partner at age 8?
- Would you rather have everything you eat taste like pumpkin spice or have everything you drink taste like ranch?
- Would you rather be stuck in an elevator with your ex or be stuck in an elevator with your principal?
- Would you rather decide where to eat by coin flip for a year or let your partner decide where to eat for a year?
- Would you rather have every meeting be an email or have every email be a meeting?
- Would you rather sneeze confetti or burp bubbles?
- Would you rather have a giant cookie as big as a car or have a giant cupcake as big as a house?
- Would you rather have your office holiday party be karaoke or have it be an ugly sweater contest?
- Would you rather have to wear a tutu every day or have to wear a cape every day?
- Would you rather have a sleepover inside a Target or have a sleepover inside a Costco?
- Would you rather have an eagle scream every time you hit send or have a cow moo every time you close a tab?
- Would you rather have a wedding with a taco truck or have a wedding with a pancake bar?
Questions people ask
Are these funny questions clean?
Yes. The humor is silly, not crude. You'll find talking animals, awkward superpowers, and strange everyday situations, but nothing gross or mean-spirited. They work for mixed ages, which makes them a safe bet for family gatherings.
What's the best way to use funny questions at a party?
Start with them. Funny questions are a low-pressure way to get people talking before a bigger game. Put party mode on the TV, read a question aloud, and let people choose sides of the room. The debates tend to run themselves.
Do people really vote on these?
Yes. The split you see after each question comes from anonymous votes by people who answered it on Joke Plant. Brand-new questions might not have many votes yet, so the numbers settle as more people play.
