Apple Jokes Galore: 70 Funniest Puns & One-Liners for All Ages

Feeling a bit peckish for a platter of humor? What could be better than a wholesome serving of crisp apple jokes?

In this cornucopia of comedy, we’ll polish up puns and delve into the deliciously playful world of apple humor.

Get ready for a bushel of belly laughs that are as fresh as a just-picked Granny Smith.

a dancing apple

Table of Contents

Best Apple Jokes for a Hearty Laugh

If laughter is the best medicine, then a dash of apple humor must be the perfect recipe for a delightful day. So, let’s dive into our top 20 apple jokes guaranteed to make you grin from ear to ear.

  1. Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road?
    • Because he ran out of juice!
  2. What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
  3. Why don’t apples ever get lost?
    • Because they always keep the core-dinates!
  4. How do you make an apple turnover?
    • Push it down a hill!
  5. What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges?
    • A bad apple.
  6. Why did the apple go to the doctor?
    • It felt a bit peely.
  7. What do you call an apple that plays the trumpet?
    • A tooty fruity!
  8. Why was the apple on the computer?
    • It was updating its Windows!
  9. What school subject is the fruitiest?
    • History, because it’s full of dates!
  10. Why did the apple break up with the banana?
    • Because it found her un-peeling!
  11. How does an apple stop a movie?
    • It presses the “paws” button!
  12. Why did the apple join the circus?
    • It wanted to be a juggle-fruit!
  13. What do apples say when they want to make peace?
    • “Lettuce ‘turnip’ the beet.”
  14. What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant?
    • The IHOP, because it loves the apple pancakes!
  15. What does an apple do when it’s tired?
    • It takes a rest in the apple hammock.
  16. Why did the apple go out with a fig?
    • Because it couldn’t find a date!
  17. What do apples write their secrets in?
    • Their dia-fruit journal!
  18. Why do apples never feel alone?
    • Because they’re part of a pear!
  19. What do you call an apple that’s good at the electric slide?
    • A zappy apple!
  20. And lastly, why did the apple pie go to a dentist?
    • Because it needed a filling!

These are but a taste of the apple-infused humor we’ve got lined up. Stay tuned for more, and remember – an apple joke a day keeps the boredom away!

a happy apple

Witty Apple Puns to Keep You Smiling

Puns, like a perfectly ripened apple, are best served crisp and refreshing. We’ve crafted a bushel of apple puns just for you – 50, in fact! So, let’s get to the core of this and start unpeeling the laughter.

  1. I’m going to make like an apple and get sauced.
  2. I find you very a-peel-ing.
  3. This is the last straw-berry, I won’t tolerate any more!
  4. I’m sorry, I can’t concentrate right now, I’m in a bit of a jam.
  5. Apple of my pie.
  6. We make the perfect pear.
  7. Stop and smell the rose-apples.
  8. I couldn’t find my apple, I lost it in the cider.
  9. You are the apple of my eye.
  10. My love for you is like a ripe apple, it just keeps growing.
  11. Life is full of fruit-ful opportunities.
  12. Don’t upset the apple tart.
  13. I tried to make an apple pun, but it was fruitless.
  14. I’m so grapeful for you.
  15. You’re a fine-apple.
  16. I have a peach of my mind to give you.
  17. You’re driving me bananas.
  18. Don’t give up, remain apple-solute!
  19. I couldn’t pear to be without you.
  20. I can’t elope without you.
  21. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
  22. You are berry special.
  23. This is plum crazy.
  24. I ap-peach-iate you.
  25. I’m going bananas over this.
  26. You’re the zest!
  27. You’re one in a melon.
  28. That was reddy-culously funny.
  29. This pun is grape!
  30. I’m feeling peachy today.
  31. Stop acting so melon-choly.
  32. I find you berry attractive.
  33. Orange you glad it’s apple season?
  34. We’re in a real jam now.
  35. Apple-y ever after.
  36. Don’t worry, be apple-y.
  37. This is a really juicy gossip.
  38. Life is like a bowl of apples.
  39. Just peachy!
  40. You make me feel grape.
  41. I’m in a bit of a pickle.
  42. She’s cherry sweet.
  43. It’s a fruitful conversation.
  44. Let’s raisin the roof.
  45. We have a grape time together.
  46. It was a split decision.
  47. We’ve got a plum assignment.
  48. She’s got a zest for life.
  49. Don’t be a sour grape.
  50. I relish our time together.

Final Thoughts on Our Fruity Funnies

In the end, whether you’re simply apple-obsessed or a humor enthusiast craving for some fruit-fueled fun, these apple jokes and puns are ripe for the picking. Keep the doctor away with a daily dose of laughter and share these apple-icious puns and jokes. Unleash the power of humor and live life to the fruit-est!

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