Tick-Tock Laughs: 75 Best Clock Jokes and Puns

Tick tock, it’s laughter o’clock! Are you ready for a good time?

Brace yourself, because we’re about to unwind with a generous serving of the funniest clock puns you’ve ever heard.

Prepare to split your sides as we count down these time-ticking giggles.

a dancing clock

Table of Contents

Ticklish Clock Puns: Hilarious Time-Related Humor

Now, who’s up for some puns that will make you clock your head back in laughter? Let’s dial up the fun as we present 30 of the wittiest clock puns ever!

  1. This clock is second to none!
  2. Time flies when you’re having puns!
  3. What a timely pun-dit you are!
  4. It’s about time you got these puns!
  5. Don’t watch these puns too closely, they might tick you off!
  6. I’m alarmed at how funny these puns are!
  7. These puns are a real tick-tocker!
  8. Let’s not clock-block these puns!
  9. It’s time to face the puns!
  10. Clock out of reality and into pun-time!
  11. These puns will not clock out!
  12. Brace yourself, it’s pun o’clock!
  13. I’m just clocking in some pun time!
  14. Puns and time wait for no one!
  15. Wind up for a clock full of puns!
  16. Time for a second round of puns!
  17. Don’t be alarmed, it’s just a pun!
  18. Have a minute? It’s time for puns!
  19. These puns will make you clock out in laughter!
  20. Can’t stop the puns, won’t stop the puns!
  21. Clock’s ticking, time for more puns!
  22. Ready to clock and roll with these puns?
  23. Face it, these puns are timeless!
  24. These puns are hands down hilarious!
  25. Time to un-clock these puns!
  26. Keep up, these puns are fast-paced!
  27. It’s punning time!
  28. Time to clock in some puns!
  29. It’s about time for these puns!
  30. Don’t be a clock-tease, share these puns!
alarm clock is ringing

Top Clock Jokes: Chuckles That Stand the Test of Time

Fasten your humor belts, folks! We’ve wound up 30 of the best clock jokes that are guaranteed to make you laugh around the clock. So, sit back and let the tickles per minute begin!

  1. Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? Because it tocked too much!
  2. What do you call a grandfather clock? An old timer!
  3. How does a clock party? It goes tick-tock-tick-tock-woo!
  4. What do you call a story that one clock tells to another? Second-hand information.
  5. Why did the clock break into a smile? Because time heals all gears!
  6. Why don’t clocks work for free? They always charge per hour!
  7. What do you call a clock on your plate? A timely serving!
  8. What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? Look, grandpa, no hands!
  9. Why did the analog clock get mad at the digital clock? Because it lost face!
  10. Why don’t alarm clocks get romantic dates? They are too alarming!
  11. Why did the clock go to therapy? It needed to unwind!
  12. What do you call a clock that took a trip around the world? A timeless traveler!
  13. How does a clock catch a fish? With its minute hand!
  14. Why don’t clocks make good secret keepers? Because time will tell!
  15. Why do clocks always know the best jokes? They always have time to kill!
  16. What do you call a clock that can rap? A metronome with a beat!
  17. Why did the clock get kicked out of the library? It was about time!
  18. What do you call a clock in a gym? A stopwatch working out!
  19. Why did the timepiece go to school? To learn about the ticks of the trade!
  20. Why was the clock proud of its job? It’s always hands-on!
  21. Why do clocks make terrible doctors? They only have two hands!
  22. How do you know when a clock is hungry? It goes back four seconds!
  23. What does a clock do when it’s bored? It passes the time!
  24. Why don’t clocks get stressed? They always unwind!
  25. Why did the clock join the baseball team? It had good timing!
  26. What is a clock’s favorite dance move? The tick-tock-toe!
  27. Why did the clock go to the music concert? It wanted to beat time!
  28. Why do clocks never argue? They always face the same direction!
  29. Why did the clock get a timeout? It wouldn’t stop ticking!
  30. Why do clocks make great comedians? Because they always have perfect timing!
the tickling clock

Quick Smiles: Best Clock One-Liners

Why should the tick-tock get all the laughs? Let’s keep the laughter rolling with these 15 snappy clock one-liners!

  1. Time is a great healer, but a terrible beautician!
  2. My favorite time of day is seconds before I sleep, no alarms set!
  3. Time’s fun when you’re having flies. – Kermit the Frog.
  4. Clocks are the roots of all timelines!
  5. Clocks slay time… time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life. – William Faulkner.
  6. If time flies when you’re having fun, it hits the afterburners when you don’t think you’re having enough.
  7. I’m a clock, and I am ticking off!
  8. It’s only time before these puns tickle you!
  9. Time waits for no man…unless he oversleeps his alarm!
  10. You’re never too old to wind up a grandfather clock!
  11. An alarm clock: a device for waking up people who don’t have small children.
  12. Why do we put a round pizza in a square box and eat it in triangles? Ah, the sands of time!
  13. If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?
  14. A broken clock is still correct twice a day!
  15. I’ve just set my alarm clock for ‘snooze’!

Final Thoughts: Reflecting on Timeless Clock Humor

To wind down this clock comedy, remember, laughter is timeless and it’s always the perfect time for a good pun or joke. Keep these tick-tock funnies up your sleeve and you’ll be the life of the party, round the clock! Until then, keep laughing and keep ‘time-ing’!

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