Hilarious Drink Puns: 80 Toast-Worthy Jokes & One-Liners
Let’s perk up your day with a splash of laughter. Here’s a heady mix of jokes about your favorite subject – drinks! From whiskey wisecracks to beer belly laughs, we promise a round of fun-filled ‘spirit-ed’ amusement.
Get ready to be shaken and stirred by our collection of 80 drink puns that are sure to leave you giggling.
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Top Alcohol Puns to Lift Your Spirits
Prepare yourself, my jolly friends! Here, we pour out a hearty cocktail of humor, serving up 25 of the best drink jokes to lighten your spirits.
- Why don’t we ever tell secrets at a bar? Because the liquor might spill!
- Why did the lemon go to the bar? It heard they served bitter drinks!
- What’s a bartender’s favorite Christmas song? ‘Gin-gle Bells’.
- How does a drink wish you a happy birthday? It raises a toast!
- Why did the beer go to a party? Because it heard there would be plenty of drafts!
- Why was the grape at the bar so relaxed? It had a ‘wine’ down!
- What’s the sun’s favorite drink? A solar cooler!
- Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates!
- What did the whiskey say to the ice? “You cool me down when I am about to lose my temper.”
- Why did the rum break up with coke? It wanted to be served ‘neat’!
- What do ghosts drink when they are hot and thirsty? Ghoul-aid!
- Why did the champagne apply for a job? It heard there was a lot of bottle-necks!
- Why did the tap beer feel superior to the bottled one? It claimed to be “on tap” talent!
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
- What’s a vampire’s favorite drink? A Bloody Mary!
- Why was the cocktail a good comedian? It always cracked people up!
- How do you know if you’re a true wine lover? When you have a ‘grape’ expectation!
- Why was the soda feeling bad? It was soda-pressed!
- What do you call a cow that can play the guitar? A moo-sician with milk-shake hands!
- Why did the cocktail umbrella seek therapy? It had an issue with being opened up!
- What’s an astronaut’s favorite drink? Gravi-tea!
- Why was the glass of water insecure? It often felt ‘half empty’!
- What did the Tequila say to the Lime? “You add zest to my life!”
- How does a cup of hot chocolate bid goodbye? “I’m cocoa for now!”
- Why did the tea bag stay at home? It was a little steep!
Stay tuned, the next round of laughter is on its way!
![Hilarious Drink Puns: 80 Toast-Worthy Jokes & One-Liners 2 Drinks Puns](https://jokeplant.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Drinks-Puns.jpg)
Refreshing Drink Puns for a Chuckle
Now, fasten your sip belts, folks! We’re steering into pun territory, where our drinks come with a twist of wordplay. Here are 25 drink puns that will get your ‘punny’ bone tickling!
- I used to hate gin, but it’s growing on me. I guess it’s a case of ‘slow gin’ fizzle.
- I know a guy who collects beer cans. He’s just so ‘hoppy’ doing it!
- That cocktail really mixed my feelings. Call it a ‘stir’ of emotions!
- My friend, a bartender, really knows how to ‘raise the bar’!
- The coffee was super hot today. It was really ‘brew-tal’!
- Why was the fruit juice gossiping? Because it couldn’t keep a ‘lid on it’!
- Tea puns are my ‘cup of tea’!
- My friend asked me if I like wine. I said, “You bet ‘chardonnay’ do!”
- Water you doing reading these drink puns?
- The beer said to the whiskey, “Brew’ve got a friend in me!”
- I’m reading a book about tequila. It’s a real ‘shot’ story!
- Coffee can be such a ‘brew-tiful’ thing in the morning.
- Wine not enjoy a glass of pun with your drink?
- The whiskey said, “Barley knew you, but rye not be friends?”
- The soda can said to the water bottle, “Stop being so ‘cap-tious’!”
- The glass of lemonade had a really ‘zest-ful’ life.
- You’re ‘brew-tiful’ to me, dear coffee.
- The juice box was feeling really ‘squashed’.
- When life gives you lemons, make some ‘pun-ch’!
- The ice cube told the glass of water, “You’re just ‘cool-aid’!”
- The coffee told the milk, “You really ‘espresso’ me.”
- I tried to catch some fog. I ‘mist’.
- A margarita is just another ‘lime’ of defense against boredom!
- The bottle said to the cap, “You really ‘screw’ me up!”
- The coffee said to the sugar, “You’re the ‘sweetest’ part of my ‘grounds’!”
So, wine-d down and enjoy a good ‘pun-ch’. Cheers to that!
![Hilarious Drink Puns: 80 Toast-Worthy Jokes & One-Liners 3 Drinks One Liners](https://jokeplant.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Drinks-One-Liners.jpg)
Quick Drinking One-Liners to Quench Your Humor
Hold onto your glasses, folks! We’re about to serve you a straight shot of humor. Here’s a neat pour of 30 drink one-liners to tickle your funny bone and wet your whistle!
- I only drink on days that start with “T”: Tuesday, Thursday, Today, Tomorrow, Thaturday, and Thunday.
- My doctor says I need glasses… well, preferably filled with wine.
- They say love is like a fine wine; I say it’s more like whiskey. Sometimes it’s sweet, sometimes it burns.
- When life hands me lemons, I make lemonade… and then hunt for someone who has vodka.
- I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve already lost three days!
- I’ve quit drinking for good. Now, I drink for evil.
- I told my doctor I couldn’t possibly be an alcoholic. I only drink once a day.
- Instant human: Just add coffee.
- Sip happens. It’s okay to wine.
- I’m not a beer snob. I’m just brew-tifully selective.
- I’d tap that… keg, of course!
- Beer doesn’t ask silly questions. Beer understands.
- My blood type? Cabernet Sauvignon.
- Whiskey is the answer… but I don’t remember the question.
- There’s always time for a cocktail. If not, you’re not looking hard enough.
- I’m not an alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink. I already have one.
- Coffee: because adulting is hard.
- Why limit happy to an hour?
- Wine flies when you’re having fun.
- Life is brew-tiful.
- The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
- I drink coffee for your protection.
- Age gets better with wine.
- Beer: the reason I wake up every afternoon.
- Alcohol won’t solve your problems. Then again, neither will milk.
- Espresso yourself!
- Drinking rum before 10 am makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic.
- The best beers are the ones we drink with friends.
- Save water, drink wine.
- If you don’t drink, how will your friends know you love them at 2 am?
Last Call: Final Thoughts on Alcoholic Puns
Well, folks, that’s all the liquid laughter we have on tap today. Remember, whether it’s a coffee roast or a cocktail toast, there’s always a splash of fun waiting in your glass. Don’t forget to share these jokes, puns, and one-liners with your friends. The next round of giggles is on us. Keep smiling and sipping, dear readers. Until next time, cheers!