70 Funny Monday Jokes

Oh, Monday! The day most of us dread but can’t avoid. Need some laughter to kickstart your week? Here’s a list of Monday jokes that’ll not only tickle your funny bone but might even make you look forward to the dreaded M-day.

Grab your coffee, and let’s giggle away the Monday blues!

Monday Jokes

Best Monday Jokes

  1. Why did Monday apply for a job? It wanted to get the week started!
  2. How does Monday say goodbye? “See you in a week!”
  3. What’s Monday’s favorite exercise? The eye-roll.
  4. Why was Monday feeling blue? It had the weekday blues!
  5. How does Monday brew its coffee? With a sense of impending doom.
  6. Why did Monday go to the bank? To check its weekday balance!
  7. How does Monday flirt? “Is it hot in here, or did the week just start?”
  8. Why was Monday so good at math? It always adds to the stress.
  9. What’s Monday’s favorite candy? Sour patches!
  10. Why did the computer keep freezing on Monday? It had a case of the Mondays.
  11. Why did Monday bring sunglasses to work? It wanted to have a bright week ahead!
  12. How does Monday comfort its friends? “It’s only four days till Friday!”
  13. Why did Monday get a ticket? It showed up too quickly after Sunday!
  14. How do you fix a broken Monday? With a Tuesday patch.
  15. What’s Monday’s favorite type of music? Anything but the blues.
  16. Why was Monday the favorite in the weekday relay race? It always comes first!
  17. What did the calendar say to Monday? “You’re the first one I see every week!”
  18. Why did the week give Monday a timeout? It always starts trouble!
  19. What do you call a Monday with no coffee? A depresso day.
  20. Why did the chicken dislike Monday? Because the next day was fry-day!

Who said Mondays can’t be funny? Hope these jokes add a chuckle to your Monday!

Monday Puns

Monday Puns

Who said puns are just for Sundays? Let’s make Monday pun-day!

  1. I tried to make a joke about Monday, but it was too weak.
  2. Monday is here, and I’m brew-tally awake.
  3. I have a case of the “Mondays,” and it’s terminal!
  4. Waking up this morning felt like a Mon-drag.
  5. Monday’s forecast: cloudy with a chance of coffee spills.
  6. I’m Mon-done with this day, and it’s only 10 am.
  7. Monday? More like Mon-yawn.
  8. The only good thing about Monday is it’s only once a week.
  9. I’d like to Mon-delay this day, please.
  10. Feeling a bit Mon-down? Grab some coffee!
  11. Mondays are like a broken pencil: pointless.
  12. My Monday motivation? The snooze button.
  13. My Monday mood is a mix of espresso and depresso.
  14. I’m not a Monday person, more of a Mon-stay in bed kind.
  15. Mondays: powered by caffeine and puns!
  16. Monday blues? I think you mean brews.
  17. Trying to adult on a Monday is just a Mon-dilemma.
  18. It’s Monday and my cup of care is still brewing.
  19. I told Monday a joke, but it didn’t crack a smile.
  20. Monday called. I hung up.

Turn that Mon-frown upside down with these punny lines!

Monday One Liners

Monday One Liners

One-liners to take the monotony out of Monday!

  1. “If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.”
  2. “May your coffee be stronger than your Monday.”
  3. “Monday: the day my coffee needs coffee.”
  4. “Mondays are just a reminder that the weekend has past and there are only a few more days before another weekend gets here.”
  5. “If Monday was a movie, it’d be very long and boring.”
  6. “Eyes half open. Coffee cup full. Yep, it’s Monday.”
  7. “The ‘M’ in Monday stands for ‘More Coffee, Please’.”
  8. “Monday: Sponsored by caffeine.”
  9. “Monday should come with a mute button.”
  10. “Survived another Monday. Where’s my medal?”
  11. “Wanted: Monday morning enthusiasm. Apply within.”
  12. “Mondays: proof that my coffee loves me.”
  13. “Monday motivation? Still searching.”
  14. “If Monday was an ice cream flavor, it’d be broccoli.”
  15. “Can we start the weekend over? I wasn’t ready for Monday.”
  16. “Monday checklist: Coffee, coffee, and more coffee.”
  17. “Mondays are like a math problem: add coffee, subtract sleep.”
  18. “My Monday spirit animal is a snail.”
  19. “I’m allergic to Mondays. Symptoms include tiredness and irritability.”
  20. “On a scale from 1 to Monday, today is definitely a Monday.”
  21. “Got a case of the Mondays? Apply coffee generously.”
  22. “My workout routine starts with pressing the snooze button on Monday.”
  23. “Monday blues are cured with Monday brews.”
  24. “Mondays are the universe’s way of punishing us for the fun we had over the weekend.”
  25. “Mondays: Where the chapter of ‘I Can’t Even’ begins.”
  26. “Monday mood: more coffee, please.”
  27. “Monday forecast: 100% chance of caffeine consumption.”
  28. “If each day is a gift, I’d like to return Monday.”
  29. “Start the week right with a smile and a strong coffee.”
  30. “Monday? I prefer Mon-not-now.”

Final thoughts

Mondays can be a drag, but with the right dose of humor, they’re manageable. Whether it’s jokes, puns, or one-liners, let’s laugh our way into the week. Here’s to conquering Mondays with a chuckle!

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