Funny Mustache Jokes & Puns: 70 Hilarious Quips to Tickle Your Whiskers

Hey folks, ever seen a mustache that tickled your funny bone? Well, we’ve got a treat for you!

Welcome to our hilarious collection of 70 mustache jokes, perfect for anyone who loves a good giggle. These jokes are so good, even your mustache will curl up in laughter!

a joker with a mustache

Best Mustache Jokes: A Collection of Top Whisker Humor

Ready to dive into the world of mustache humor? Buckle up, because these 20 fantastic mustache jokes will take you on a joyride of laughter.

  1. Why did the mustache break up with the lip? It felt taken for “granite”!
  2. What did the fuzzy mustache say to the beard? “You grow, bro!”
  3. How does a mustache cut its hair? It “shaves” it off!
  4. Why don’t mustaches ever get lost? Because they always know where the mouth is!
  5. What did the one mustache say to the other mustache? “We must-ache stop meeting like this!”
  6. What’s a mustache’s favorite exercise? The “upper lip-up”!
  7. Why did the mustache go to the party? To “hair-raise”!
  8. How does a mustache like its coffee? “Espresso-ly” strong!
  9. What do you call a mustache that was defeated? A “shaven” loser!
  10. Why was the mustache a good listener? It was always right under the nose!
  11. What did the barber say to the mustache? “Hair’s looking at you, kid!”
  12. Why don’t mustaches ever argue? They always meet in the middle!
  13. What’s a mustache’s favorite day of the week? “Trimming Tuesday”!
  14. What’s a mustache’s favorite dance? The “foxtrot”, because it’s so sophisticated!
  15. What do you call a mustache that likes to paint? An “art-stache”!
  16. What’s a mustache’s favorite fruit? “Hairy” berries!
  17. Why are mustaches so smart? They always “brush up” on their facts!
  18. Why did the mustache go to school? To get a little “trim-ucation”!
  19. What does a mustache call a fast haircut? A “quick snip”!
  20. What do you call a mustache that’s been in a fight? A “brushed” off bristle!

Mustache Puns: Witticisms to Make Your Upper Lip Twitch

Who’s ready for some witty wordplay? Puns always add an extra ‘twist’ to humor, so brace yourself for some ‘hair-larious’ mustache puns that’ll ‘shave’ your day!

  1. My mustache and I have been through a lot together. We really “moustick” together!
  2. I mustache you a question, but I’m shaving it for later.
  3. The handlebar mustache – it’s quite a “ride”!
  4. I feel “shave-tastic” today after trimming my mustache!
  5. His mustache was so big, it was really “growing” on me.
  6. The mustache adds a “dash” of sophistication.
  7. The mustache’s motto: “Keep calm and ‘stache on!”
  8. Mustache – the facial accessory that’s always “on point”!
  9. My mustache is really “cutting-edge” style.
  10. The barber gave me a trim that was a “cut” above the rest.
  11. I told my barber, “We must ‘stache’ up a plan for a new look!”
  12. My mustache makes me “bristle” with pride.
  13. The only time I “shave off” a mustache is for a good cause.
  14. I “combed” through every mustache style before settling on mine.
  15. I “waxed” poetic about the perfect mustache.
  16. The mustache: a “hairy” impressive statement!
  17. When I saw his new mustache, I knew he had “razed” his game.
  18. I tried to “trim” down my mustache, but it grew on me.
  19. The mustache: when your face needs a little “edge”.
  20. A mustache isn’t just a facial feature, it’s a “lifestyle”.
  21. The man with a mustache is a man with a “plan”.
  22. The mustache – it “grows” on you!
  23. I knew I couldn’t “shave off” the mustache. It’s too good!
  24. My mustache is my pride – it’s the “upper-cut”!
  25. The mustache is a man’s “crowning glory”.
mustache with glasses

Classic Mustache Jokes One-Liners: Quick Laughs for Every Mustachio

Prepare to ‘stache’ these one-liners in your humor toolbox! Here are 25 mustache one-liners that are sure to make your day a whisker better.

  1. “Mustaches – Making milk look awkward since forever.”
  2. “I mustache you to stand back, I’m about to look awesome.”
  3. “The only thing we have to ‘fear’ is ‘shears’ itself!”
  4. “Life is better with a mustache, trust me.”
  5. “Feeling down? Just remember: upper lip, never quit!”
  6. “A man without a mustache is like a cup of tea without sugar.”
  7. “If your day doesn’t go right, go left with a mustache.”
  8. “Handlebars on the face, not just for bikes!”
  9. “Stress doesn’t go well with my mustache.”
  10. “Stay strong. The world needs your mustache.”
  11. “Mustache: separating the boys from the men.”
  12. “When life gets tough, the tough grow a mustache.”
  13. “Life is short. Grow the mustache.”
  14. “A mustache isn’t just hair on your lip, it’s a lifestyle.”
  15. “Keep calm and grow a mustache.”
  16. “There’s a name for people without mustaches – women.”
  17. “You can’t buy happiness, but you can grow a mustache.”
  18. “Never underestimate a man with a mustache.”
  19. “Mustaches: not just for the Monopoly man.”
  20. “Respect the mustache.”
  21. “Mustache: Because face is not a naked place.”
  22. “Growing a mustache is a habit you’ll never want to split.”
  23. “A mustache is worth a thousand words.”
  24. “I don’t always grow a mustache, but when I do, I look amazing.”
  25. “Behind every successful man, there is a mustache.”
a happy drum with a mustache

Last Words: Ending on a Hairy Note with Mustache Jokes & Puns

So, there you have it, folks – our hilarious collection of mustache jokes, puns, and one-liners. Keep these handy for any moment when you need a laugh or to lighten the mood. Remember, whether it’s a wispy whisker or a full-grown ‘stache, every mustache is a cause for humor and celebration!

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