Hilarious Neck Jokes & Puns: Top 45 Laughs Without the Stretch

If you’re looking to add some laughter to your day, look no further. We’ve curated a list of 45 neck jokes so hilarious, they might just make your head spin!

Whether you’ve got a long neck or a short one, these jokes are guaranteed to get you giggling. Ready to roll in laughter? Let’s dive in!

a Dinosaur with a long neck

Best Neck Jokes That’ll Make You Grin

We promise, these will have you choked up with laughter!

  1. Why did the necklace go to school? To improve its chain of thought!
  2. What did the scarf say to the hat? “You go on ahead, I’ll hang around the neck!”
  3. Why was the neck always calm? Because it could never lose its head.
  4. How do you measure a giraffe’s neck? In giraffe-tic units!
  5. What did the shirt collar say to the tie? “Hang in there!”
  6. Why was the neck so proud? Because it’s always held up the head.
  7. What do you call a reptile with a long neck? A Python-Neck!
  8. Why did the giraffe refuse to apologize? It couldn’t swallow its pride!
  9. Why did the vampire like necks so much? Because it was a pain in the neck to go anywhere else!
  10. How did the neck feel after a workout? Sore-throat!
  11. Why did the shirt say to the tie? “You’re strangling me!”
  12. What do you call a necklace that’s mad at you? Choker!
  13. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib to go with his neck bone!
  14. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? Necktarines!
  15. Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering A minor neck!

Hope you found a few to share and spread the laughter! Remember, life’s too short to not enjoy a good neck joke or two.

Neck Puns

Neck Puns to Twist Your Humor

Dive into these puns that are neck-sellently crafted just for you!

  1. I bought a new necklace, it’s neck-st to none!
  2. I’m reading a book on giraffes – can’t put it necks down.
  3. Have you seen my new scarf? It’s knot your average neckwear.
  4. When it comes to puns, I’m always a-head and neck above the rest.
  5. I heard a giraffe got promoted at work – he neck-celled in his position.
  6. That necklace is truly a gem, no wonder it’s the neck’s best thing.
  7. I watched a documentary on giraffes – the long neck-tation was worth it.
  8. She wore her emotions on her sleeve and her stories on her necklace; she’s a true neck-spressionist.
  9. If a giraffe wore a tie, would it be necks to the bottom or the top? Food for thought!
  10. I visited the chiropractor for my neck – had a cracking good time!
  11. My giraffe loves playing the guitar; he’s great at the neck cords.
  12. The ghost’s favorite jewelry? A boo-celet for the neck!
  13. Neck-xt time, I’ll remember to wear my favorite necklace.
  14. Did you see the giraffe playing basketball? He’s neck-tacular at it!
  15. When the vampire went on a diet, he said, “Neck-ter is the only juice I’ll drink!”

Let these puns be the “neck-sary” humor dose for your day! Go on, share them and watch everyone grin!

Neck One Liners

Head-Turning Neck One-Liners for Quick Giggles

Laugh it off with these one-liners that’ll make heads (and necks) turn in amusement!

  1. “Ever met a giraffe with a short neck? Me neither!”
  2. “Vampires have a real pain in the neck job.”
  3. “Gave my necklace to the pawn shop; guess I’m in a neck-less situation now.”
  4. “I tried a giraffe’s diet once; felt like a stretch.”
  5. “Neck’s time you judge a vampire, walk a mile in his cape.”
  6. “When my scarf choked me, I thought it was a tie.”
  7. “Been to the chiropractor – feeling really neck-st level now.”
  8. “Why did the necklace attend the meeting? It wanted to connect links.”
  9. “Spotted a turtle without a shell; it was neck-ed!”
  10. “The best place for secrets? Neck to the ear.”
  11. “Been learning the guitar. The neck’s part seems tricky.”
  12. “Neck pain at the gym? Probably lifted head-over-heels.”
  13. “Every vampire thinks their job sucks, but it’s just neck-tural.”
  14. “Wearing two necklaces today because, why knot?”
  15. “Giraffes at a concert? They’re always neck-banging!”

Final Thoughts on Our No Neck Jokes Roundup

Keep your chin up and your humor game neck-strong! These neck jokes, puns, and one-liners are sure to add some light-hearted fun to your day. Share them with friends and give them something to smile about!

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