100 Funny Wedding Jokes & Puns: A Hundred Laughs for Matrimony!

Weddings – a magical moment where love ties two hearts in a knot forever. But hey, who said they couldn’t be funny?

This post has a special treat for you, ‘100 Jokes About Weddings’, because laughter truly is the best part of any celebration!

a bride and groom after their wedding

Top 30 Marriage Jokes: Humor for Your Special Day

When romance meets humor, things get hilariously beautiful. Buckle up, we’ve got the best wedding jokes to tickle your funny bone.

  1. Why don’t we ever fight at our wedding anniversaries? Because we can never remember the date!
  2. Did you hear about the two satellite dishes who got married? The wedding was pretty standard, but the reception was outstanding!
  3. How does a bride organize her wedding? She “marches” down the aisle!
  4. Why did the cookie cry at the wedding? Because his mom was a wafer too long!
  5. Why do weddings never happen in tennis matches? Because love means nothing there!
  6. What’s the secret to a happy wedding? A sense of bride and groom.
  7. Why did the Groom get lost at the wedding? He could not find his ‘root’-beer!
  8. Why did the wedding cake go to a therapist? It was crumbling under tier pressure!
  9. Why did the man propose to his girlfriend in a restaurant? He wanted her to say “I dough”!
  10. Why did the bride refuse to play football on her wedding day? She didn’t want to be a ‘catch’!
  11. What’s the difference between marriage and a circus? One features a cunning array of stunts. The other is a circus.
  12. Why don’t you ever marry a tennis player? To them, love means nothing!
  13. Why did the wedding ceremony go viral? Because it was trending on ‘tie’-ter!
  14. Why was the belt arrested at the wedding? It was holding up a pair of pants!
  15. Why was the mummy invited to the wedding? He was known for ‘wrapping’ up the party!
  16. Why are ghosts bad at marriage? Because they’re ‘transparent’ about everything!
  17. Why did the scarecrow win an award at the wedding? Because he was outstanding in his ‘field’!
  18. What’s a balloon’s least favorite part of a wedding? The reception, they always pop there!
  19. Why did the bride wear white? Because it’s good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator!
  20. Why did the police officer attend the wedding? To ‘serve’ and ‘protect’ the cake!
  21. Why did the farmer get married? Because he found a wife that was ‘outstanding in her field’!
  22. What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday!
  23. Why was the computer cold at the wedding? It left its Windows open!
  24. Why do grooms cry at their wedding? They just realized they’re giving up happy hours for baby showers!
  25. How are husbands like lawn mowers? They’re hard to get started, they emit noxious fumes, and half the time they don’t work!
  26. What do you call two spiders that just got married? Newlywebs!
  27. Why do we have bridesmaids and groomsmen? It’s like having a group of cheerleaders for the biggest game of your life!
  28. Why did the bride refuse to play hide and seek on her wedding day? She knew the groom would cheat and peek at the veil!
  29. Why did the bulb break off the wedding? It didn’t want to have a ‘light’ commitment!
  30. Why was the broom late for the wedding? It overswept!
a dog with his lovely wife

35 Wedding Puns to Crack Up Your Guests

Time to raise a ‘toast’ to the funny side of love! Get ready to ‘ring’ in some laughter with these 35 fabulous wedding puns.

  1. “Mint to Be” – for the couple that clearly belongs together.
  2. “Two peas in a pod, now sharing an abode.”
  3. “Together is a wonderful place to ‘veil’.”
  4. “Aisle be there for you!”
  5. “He popped the question, she said ‘Olive you’.”
  6. “She stole a ‘pizza’ his heart.”
  7. “He put a ring on it and ‘nailed’ it.”
  8. “Tying the ‘knot’, and ready to ‘tie-r’ the dance floor.”
  9. “They ‘nacho’ average couple.”
  10. “From ‘miss’ to ‘mrs’, now ready to throw some ‘kisses’.”
  11. “No more ‘solo’ life, they’re now on ‘duet’ mode.”
  12. “They ‘can-dle’ anything together.”
  13. “Two ‘soles’ sharing one journey.”
  14. “Marriage – when dating goes too ‘fir’.”
  15. “Rice to meet you!”
  16. “Romaine’ calm, the big day is here!”
  17. “They’re ‘matcha’ made in heaven.”
  18. “Bride and Groom, ‘lettuce’ celebrate you!”
  19. “She found her ‘mister’, he found his ‘sister’.”
  20. “It’s a ‘brew’-tiful day for a wedding.”
  21. “This ‘ring’ has a ‘bling’ to it.”
  22. “Life with you is ‘bun’-believable.”
  23. “Engaged? More like ‘en-raged’ with joy.”
  24. “They’ve finally ‘ketchup’ to marriage.”
  25. “They’ve ‘plaque-d’ their love for each other.”
  26. “He ‘knead’-ed her in his life.”
  27. “Weddings are ‘in-tents’.”
  28. “Their love is ‘tea-riffic’.”
  29. “Marriage – when your hearts ‘beet’ as one.”
  30. “It’s time to ‘dish’ out the love.”
  31. “Time to ‘cut’ the cake and ‘tie’ the knot.”
  32. “Getting ‘hitched’ and not a ‘stitch’ of doubt.”
  33. “Let’s ‘toast’ to the happy couple.”
  34. “‘Orange’ you glad you said yes!”
  35. “No more ‘waffling’ around, they’re getting married.”
newly weds home

35 Wedding One-Liners That Are #PunWedding Goals

When the wedding bells ring, the punchlines sing! Here are 35 wedding one-liners that will add a dash of humor to the “I do” occasion.

  1. “Marriage is a workshop… where the husband works & wife shops.”
  2. “Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.”
  3. “Why marry a man? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house!”
  4. “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
  5. “I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.”
  6. “Marriage: a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.”
  7. “Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”
  8. “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”
  9. “Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.”
  10. “Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house.”
  11. “Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband!”
  12. “An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.”
  13. “They say marriage is made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning!”
  14. “Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.”
  15. “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.”
  16. “A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.”
  17. “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”
  18. “Marriage: Where dating ends and nagging begins.”
  19. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”
  20. “Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don’t have to give her back to her parents.”
  21. “Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.”
  22. “All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.”
  23. “Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.”
  24. “Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.”
  25. “Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.”
  26. “Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.”
  27. “If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.”
  28. “My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
  29. “The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.”
  30. “In my house, I’m the boss. My wife is just the decision-maker.”
  31. “Marriage is grand — and divorce is at least a 100 grand!”
  32. “Always get married in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.”
  33. “A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.”
  34. “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”
  35. “The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.”

Final Thoughts on Celebrating Love with Laughter

From charming to cheeky, weddings bring a banquet of emotions. Our collection of jokes, puns, and one-liners surely gave you a hearty laugh. In the end, we believe that love and laughter are the secret ingredients to a perfect wedding. Keep spreading smiles because, after all, love is the best reason to be happy. Don’t forget to share these lines at your next wedding event and leave everyone in splits!

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