Guitar Jokes: 110 Funny One-liners & Puns for Guitarists

Strum your way into the world of hilarity with our hundred best guitar jokes.

Lighten up your day, amplify your smile, and pick through these clever quips that’ll get you plucking at your funny bone!

Top Guitar Player Jokes

1. We’ve plucked the top 40 guitar jokes that’ll have you fretting with laughter in no time!
2. Why don’t guitarists ever catch a cold? Because they have plenty of natural fret-vents!
3. What’s a guitarist’s favorite snack? Crackling solo crunch!
4. What did the guitar say to the guitarist? You pluck my nerves!
5. Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor.
6. What’s the difference between a guitarist and a savings bond? Eventually, the bond will mature and earn money.
7. Why are guitar jokes so dumb? Because the strings aren’t too sharp!
8. Why did the guitarist get kicked out of band? Because he didn’t strum the right chord!
9. What do you call a cow that plays the guitar? A Moo-sician!
10. Why was the guitar a great musician? Because he really knew his chords!
11. How do you compliment a guitar player? Tell them they strike a chord with you.
12. What’s a guitar’s favorite type of bread? A brioche, because it’s always ready to roll!
13. What do you call a guitar that wants to become a violin? A fretful change artist.
14. Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer? Because he was Haydn. (Hiding!)
15. How does a guitar say hello? “Hey, string there!”
16. Why are guitarists fingers like lightning? They rarely strike the same place twice!
17. What do you call a guitar that never finishes a race? A strummer.
18. Why do guitarists love playing in the garden? They love to shred leaves.
19. What’s a guitar’s favorite type of coffee? Espresso, because it’s always in a hurry to get played!
20. Why did the guitar write a letter? It wanted to fret out its feelings.
21. Why did the bass guitar break up with the electric guitar? It said, “You’re just too amped up for me!”
22. Why do guitarist always carry a pencil? To draw the perfect chord!
23. What do you call a guitar that never goes out of tune? Unplucked-believable!
24. How did the electric guitar propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring and said, “Marry me, and we’ll make beautiful music together!”
25. What’s a guitar’s favorite movie? “Strumdog Millionaire!”
26. Why was the guitar a terrible fisherman? Because every time he cast a line, he got hooked on the reel!
27. What do you call a guitar after a successful diet? A fret-less!
28. What do you call a guitar player with a rubber toe? Roberto!
29. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner.
30. How does a guitar apologize? It frets out a soft note.
31. Why did the guitar cross the road? To fret to the other side.
32. Why did the guitar go to jail? Because it got caught up in a jam!
33. What’s the difference between a guitarist and a mutual fund? One matures and makes money.
34. Why did the guitar go to therapy? It had too many frets!
35. What do you call a guitar that never plays out of tune? A tune-believable miracle!
36. What’s a guitarist’s favorite car? A Fender Bender!
37. Why was the guitar always in trouble? Because it was always picking fights!
38. How does a guitarist’s brain cell die? Alone.
39. Why was the guitar a bad philosopher? Because it could only fret, not think!
40. What’s the difference between a lead guitarist and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Strumming along these lines is sure to have your audience in stitches. Enjoy these funny guitar jokes, and remember, the key to humor is always timing!

Hilarious Guitarist Puns

If music be the food of laugh, play on! Here’s tuning up the hilarity with 40 clever guitar puns that will strum your funny strings!

1. I asked my guitar to keep a secret, but it just fretted out.
2. I tried to sell my old guitar, but it had too many strings attached.
3. I asked my guitar if it’s sad, it replied, “I’m just a bit down-tuned.”
4. My guitar never seems to get old. It’s got timeless quality.
5. I started a band with my guitar, it’s called “Strumthing New”.
6. My guitar always eats too much, it’s got a big appetite.
7. My guitar always finishes its meals because it knows how to pick clean.
8. The guitar’s joke was so bad it got booed off the stage. It really struck the wrong chord!
9. My guitar has a sweet tooth. It loves to jam.
10. The guitar was not allowed on the airplane because it couldn’t handle the pressure. It always frets on flights.
11. My guitar loves to go camping. It always brings its own pick.
12. The guitar and the piano had a race. The guitar won because it was well-strum.
13. Why is my guitar a great secret keeper? Because it doesn’t strum up old gossip.
14. My guitar is quite the environmentalist. It’s always into green-peace.
15. I love my new electric guitar, it’s quite shocking.
16. I was going to buy a new guitar, but I had to fret over the price.
17. My guitar is a workaholic, it always stays in tune.
18. The guitar was late to the concert. It got caught in a jam.
19. The guitar’s vacation pictures were underwhelming, too many selfies and not enough scales.
20. My guitar is an introvert, it hates loud bars and prefers to stay home and jam.
21. My guitar went to the gym to work on its chords.
22. Why does my guitar never miss a day at the gym? It’s all about the bass.
23. My guitar doesn’t like the winter, it prefers mild treble.
24. My guitar tried its hand at comedy, but it couldn’t pull off the punchline. It’s all about the delivery, not the pick-up.
25. I broke up with my guitar. It was stringing me along.
26. The guitar got a promotion. Now it’s pulling the strings.
27. The guitar loves playing hide and seek, but it’s always spotted. It just sticks out like a sore thumb pick.
28. Why does the guitar always carry an umbrella? It doesn’t want to dampen its strings.
29. My guitar is the life of the party. It always strums up fun.
30. My guitar is a fantastic baker. It knows all the best rolls.
31. I told my guitar to go to bed, but it would rather fret all night.
32. My guitar is a superhero. Its power? Sonic speed.
33. My guitar and I had a fight. It’s given me the cold shoulder rest.
34. My guitar loves fashion, it’s always in vogue. Its favorite brand? Fender!
35. The guitar has great manners, it always knows how to conduct itself.
36. I caught my guitar exercising, it was working on its scales.
37. My guitar is an author. It’s known for its sharp notes.
38. My guitar is a motivational speaker, it always strikes a chord with the audience.
39. My guitar always gets invited to parties, it knows how to pick up a tune.
40. Why is the guitar a good gardener? It knows the key to a great compost.

With these puns in your pocket, you’re all set to rock ‘n roll! So, turn the amp to 11, pluck out a pun, and watch your audience groove to the beat of your humour!

Quick Guitar One-Liners

Get ready to amplify your humor with a punchy rhythm! Here are 30 rockin’ guitar one-liners to keep your audience strumming along!

1. You know you’re a guitarist when you’ve got more guitars than clean socks.
2. “I’ve got too many guitars,” said no guitarist ever!
3. If playing the guitar was easy, it would be called drums.
4. They call it “playing” the guitar because we do it for fun, not for the money.
5. The only thing more reliable than a good guitar is a bad drummer.
6. Guitars don’t argue, they just gently weep.
7. I don’t suffer from guitar acquisition syndrome, I enjoy every minute of it.
8. A home without a guitar is just a house.
9. A guitarist’s diet: Eat, Sleep, Strum, Repeat.
10. Guitars don’t make mistakes, guitarists do.
11. I couldn’t choose between a new car or a new guitar, so I chose the guitar. I can’t drive a car in my living room.
12. Give a man a guitar, and he’ll play for a day. Teach a man to play the guitar, and today’s gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you.
13. My favorite kind of bread? A jam sandwich.
14. How do you get a guitarist off your doorstep? Pay for the pizza.
15. Six strings, countless dreams.
16. What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can’t tune a fish.
17. When in doubt, strum it out!
18. I asked my guitar if we could become more than just a band.
19. I’ve got 99 problems, but a guitar ain’t one.
20. A day without playing guitar is like… Just kidding, I have no idea.
21. Guitars speak louder than words.
22. What’s the best place to keep your guitar? In your hands.
23. Life’s too short to play a crappy guitar.
24. My guitar is not a thing. It is an extension of myself. It is who I am.
25. The guitar doesn’t make the guitarist, but it sure helps.
26. My guitar wants to kill your mama, just kidding, it only wants to serenade her.
27. I told my kids they could be anything, so they became guitars.
28. A guitarist’s mind is always on the fret.
29. Practice makes perfect, but nobody’s perfect, so why practice?
30. What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless.

Last Strum: Final Guitar Joke Thoughts

Strumming up laughter is just as joyous as plucking a sweet melody. Whether you’re a guitarist or a fan of one, these guitar jokes, puns, and one-liners will keep you and your friends in a riff of laughter! Keep picking at these, and you’ll always hit the right chord in the humor scale.